Dear Lenovo Thinkpad T450s,
I know this may be hard for you to understand, after
all we’ve done together over the past 18 months, but the time has come for us
to separate, to go our different ways. In short, I’m leaving you. I’m going to
the United States, and no, I’m not taking you with me. But please let´s not
dwell on this sad parting, but think about all the things we, you and I, have
done together.
I remember the first day I arrived in the Area office and
you were there waiting for me. I was in a very strange country with a language
I did not understand, and the Area office was so confusing. A president and two
counselors, just like my stake back home, but also Purchasing, HR, IT, Finance,
and Real Property departments. Why? My stake didn't need them. And why does the
Church need a legal department anyway? It was a confusing time, and then I met
you. You were not some left-wing glitzy Apple MacBook for airheads, but a rock
solid, black PC laptop with Windows, a ThinkPad with its deep IBM ancestry, a
serious computer for serious business, just like the corporate world I come
from. I felt a connection. I know your type and, while everything else was strange,
I knew we would get along just fine. Then I realized you worked in both English
and Spanish and that, once you figured out what I was trying to do, you could
autocorrect in either language. Yes, I had a very clever computer companion.
We should not, however, brush over some issues. For example,
when the great Mr. Qwerty invented the qwerty computer keypad he put the
quotations mark key on the second row next to the Enter key, the question mark
and back slash on the first row next to the shift on the right side and the
ever so useful @ on the top row, shift 2. This is where they were intended to be. And what is that Alt Gr anyway? To be frank, for me your keyboard layout is so wrong. And you have no HDMI output. Hello, this is the 21st
century – no HDMI? Seriously, what happened? Did you offend someone in IT? You also
have this annoying practice of blocking me out, without notice and often when I
need you the most, while you update yourself, often for a very long time.
Really, this is very rude.
Then there are your apps. I’ll skip Interwoven
because, as you have reminded me many times, it was not your idea, it is not on
your hard drive and you refuse to take the blame. As for Infoguide, it is a
very useful program that we both love to hate. Yes, I know you hate it too.
Every time we logon my fingers feel you grumbling “clunky, clunky, clunky.” But, of course, as you have reminded me many
times, you've had better companions in the past and are hoping to upgrade in the future. But let’s not dwell on the negative.
I want to say how much I appreciate you never
complaining about being asked to help out on matters outside your job
description. You never complained about finding and printing out the Pathway
lead student lesson plans and evaluations and student essays for the gathering
on Thursday evenings or late on Saturday evening printing out copies of
coloring pages for Sister Hyer for her primary lesson on Sunday morning. And
that night the printer ran out of paper and we had to “borrow” from the Welfare
department´s printer, remember we agreed that that was a secret best kept to
ourselves.
Consider all the emails from Karina, Felix, Gordon,
Elder and Sister Pratt and, of course, the Garfields, Dic Johnson and Mike
Wood. As clever as you and Outlook are, your little electronic signals are
wholly insufficient to communicate the love, professional respect and gratitude
we have for each of them. How can we
show our appreciation? How about inviting them to lunch at Bistecca?
Think, dear friend, of all the emails we've sent and
received about temples, Venezuela, contracts and leases, religious freedom, temples,
Venezuela, missionaries and visas, Medical brigades, entity by-laws and
organizations, government relations, temples, Venezuela, tax exemptions, land
purchases for chapels and institutes and permits to build chapels and
institutes, property embargoes, temples, Venezuela, benefit plans and
government audits, temples, Venezuela, the
unfortunate employee who has to be terminated, audits, defalcations, title
defects, expropriation, refugees, temples, Venezuela, legal implications of
transgressions by missionaries and members, visas for visitors and employees,
customs, and, of course, temples and Venezuela.
What a privilege it has been for you and me to receive
such emails and help solve these problems. Now, don´t get all puffed up about
it. Frankly, any laptop, even a lame Google Chrome book could have done just as
well, and some, such as a new Dell, could have done it even better. But that
isn't the point is it? Fate put, not them, but you and me on the receiving end
of those emails and gave us the chance to help these faithful Saints in their
efforts to build the Kingdom of God on the earth. What a blessing that has
been.
In a few days I will return to Park City, Utah, to do
what retired corporate attorneys do, but you will stay here, receiving such
emails and trying to figure out how to best solve the problem. Don´t forget
that behind each of those emails and its problems are the heartfelt prayers of
faithful saints and you may be part of the Lord´s answers to those prayers.
Enjoy the work, estimado amigo, it is what you were meant to do.
Elder Hyer
October 2018
